It's music time

[Original Post at my Blogs | My Blogs]

Title	:	Classical Music for Dummies
Authors	:	David Pogue and Scott Speck
Preface by	:	Zarin Mehta (Zubin Mehta's brother; Zubin is a well-known conductor who happened to lead a performance at Singapore in 2005, IIRC)
Foreword by	:	Glenn Dicterow (violinist and concert master)
ISBN	:	978-0764550096

This book is by far the most hilarious title of the “For Dummies” series, out of ones I've read. Which implies it's the best “For Dummies” for me, to date.

Iyep, that's right, pu(1) chuo(4). Perhaps the authors want to dispel the impression that classical music is boring, difficult to understand, and not fun. Or even sadistic — ever watch movies on Sicilian mafia where godfathers seem to have a penchant for this kind of music?

Here are some examples from the book.

On when to clap:

• the conductor puts down his hands and keep them down
• all the players onstage put down their instruments
• everyone around you starts clapping
• the concert hall lights come up
• the players exit the stage, carrying their instruments
• the entire audience leaves the auditorium
• the cleaning crew comes in and begins to mop the stage

On why conductors occasionally ignore the tempo specified by composers:

As a result, in the past century, conductors have felt free to treat the metronome marking only as a starting point — or even to ignore it completely. Beethoven's symphonies, for example, are virtually always played at a slower tempo than Beethoven himself specified. Tradition, along with various theories about the condition of the old man's metronome (not to mention his brain cells), has had generations of musicians to contradict poor Ludwig's specifications.

There's another one on violin: of course you want to play it with the accompany of X. Except that X is dead. [Can't recall X's name, but X is supposed to be a famous pianist.]

Other jokes are thrown here-and-there too, though some feels a bit “crispy” (Indonesian slang for rather-dry jokes). Like these ones on violin vs viola (note: a viola is simply a slightly larger version of a violin):

• Q: what's the difference between violins and violas?
  A: violas can burn longer
  
• Q: how many vioalas are needed to change a lightbulb?
  A: none, they can't reach that high.

Oh, you can find the book at Pageone@vivocity. Disclaimer: I'm in no way associated with the bookstore.